Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Rationalising The Irrationality

“When men fail, they try to rationalize”. Is it so???? Is the rule solely applicable to only one gender of the population or it is applicable to all the people, whether he is a male or a female, or for that matter why not a kid??? Don’t we all try to put a feasible reason for being a failure or doing something wrong?

I was thinking with the book in my hand which I have just finished, where in the author wanted to put across a point with the above tagline. “C’mon you can’t say like that”,I said to myself , as if I was the representative of the whole species he wanted to denigrate(Is it a strong word ,please excuse me if it sound so).But I felt it was nothing less than what I was feeling. Why should only men be blamed for, when we know what the truth is. And the truth is that we do pass buck every time whenever there is a chance that we will be put to scrutiny.

Isn’t our society built on this so called innate attitude of buck passing, since time immoral???Who knows since when this trait might have been built into our psyche? And the trait is so strong that even now also we don’t feel like giving it up even when we have a chance to turn things around.

Now also the exam systems in our educational institutes believe that vomiting some hard core facts & theories, which a student might have gulped the night before the exams day is the best way to judge whether he or she is the best student. Now tell me how many of these theories the student use whenever he or she goes out of that campus life where in he or she is cocooned in the secured campuses building those huge castles of success in the wind?? And how many of those students who earn gold medals become successful in their lives. I don’t mean to denigrate those studious guys, but don’t we see that we have a problem here where we feel that coming first in an exams is the way to salvation(what else do you say, when you see students staying over night & cramming of those voluminous books in order to get a good mark in exams).

Take for example another instance & this is quite interesting than the first one. Who does not how a marriage ceremony looks like? You have a guy & a girl(I don’t think still it is comprehendible for maximum of us to think of a guy getting married to a guy or a girl getting married to a girl, though exceptions always exist),whose parents get the privilege to search for a life partner for each of them. Mind you here I am talking about the main protagonist of the marriage ceremony, not any other one, but he or she does not have a voice of his/her. All the things are choreographed or staged according to what the parents decide. The only thing that is left for the bride or groom is to enact as they are told to do so. You may oppose me in this regard saying that time has changed. But for whom???? Has it changed for the brides & grooms???I don’t find & you are most welcome to point any changes you find. At least the guy & girl should get to know each other very well when they are going to settle down together. Shouldn’t they be given a chance to voice their own concern? Though I am privileged not to be treated like that, I have seen a lot of instances wherein marriage is staged which they called as arranged by parents.

I know one of my colleagues who was unfortunate to go through this kind of treatment. It so happened that even though he was not interested to get married his parents put a tremendous pressure on him to settle down with a .Since he was having a very decent job, there was a deluge of proposals for him from different quarters, & he was having such a hard time to spend his weekend. I remember him going to his home on Saturday & coming back & joining office on Monday morning. Visiting bride’s place duration also included in this time. So you can well imagine what a hard life he might be having. Now it so happened that he was damn confident about the fact that no girl would like to get married to him. So, blandly he used to tell every girl he came across that he would get married to her if she is willing & to his delight all the girls would refuse him. But unfortunately a girl he came across liked him so much that she gave her consent for my friend & date was decided for their engagement. Now the real fun happened after engagement, when this guy wanted to have some time with the bride to know her better. But girl’s family, being a conservative one would not allow the girl to go out with that guy. But the girl being a smart one used to cook up stories to come out in the evening .That continued for 1 year before these couple settled down together for a lovely married life. Now what I was amused is why the two people who have already given their consent for marriage can’t go out together before getting involved in a serious relationship. Is it a sin???Anyway I am not trying to glorify those insane activities that young people get involved in. But those insanity part apart can’t we progress to a more flexible society, where no unreasonable rules are not allowed.

Why to look at society, looking at ourselves also we find a lot of time we rationalize what we know should not be rationalized. Don’t we know when we pay something for getting something done in a govt. office we are doing a wrong thing. But ask all & sundry, the answer will be like ”Arey karna padta hai yaar.” & people who take that money would say “Kamal hai yaar.kaam aapka karenge,,, upar se gali bhi sunenge.Is ke liye aap thoda de denge to kuchh problem hoga kya???” Hmmmmm points well noted down saar.We don’t mind paying you par kaam thoda aur jaldi kar denge to bahut meherbaani hogi.

Take for instance why do we have so many private schools run by private groups mushrooming everywhere???Can’t we make the govt. Schools far better than what they are right now? No we won’t do because the school is run by govt. & the teachers are accountable to an abstract entity called government about which they don’t care at all.

The other day I was going through newspapers and the main news was about guys getting a foreign posting & shamelessly the headlines screamed about the plum posting they were getting abroad, with the dollar salary . How short people’s memory can be I was thinking. It is this affection for everything foreign that put us under British rules for 200 years, & we have got freedom from the foreign power only for last 50 years. No one cares more for what happened to that spirit of Indianness.You ask these people & answer will be same everywhere.”Huuuh I am not getting that scope for doing research & technical advance study here, and our country does not give prestige to people who are involved in research work”. Where from then we had Vikram Sarabhai, C.V.Raman, APJ Abdul Kalam,our honorable president who was a great scientist &mind you I am talking abt those periods when these people didn’t have fraction of facility that current generation has.

Anyway I have already cribbed about a lot of things which I should not have done..But what to do???That cribbing is in built to the psyche of our people I guess. Ohhho, I have started rationalizing irrationality J now.By the way you also do the same otherwise no one will recognize that you belong to that category of species called Homo sapiens

Monday, April 24, 2006

Prisoners Of Paradigm

"I am not having good sleeps,nowdays.Feeling as if I am going the other way,when some of our friends are having a jolly ride on their choosen path."I was just looking with a kiddish twinkle in my eyes to the person who was sitting in front of me.

No he was not a stranger to me.If you calculate the duration of time , we both have been together then there is no way you can tell the person as a stranger to me.We both were in the school for 7 years.Being the alumni of a boarding school, I didn't have any doubt about the knowledge I had about my friend.Anyway coming to the situation wherein we both were participants,I was wondering what he was talking about??Is it that, he is unsatisfied about his job or is it that he is not having a grt time with his family.People who are unmarried are said to have a jolly time I know.Why, I also search for the answer sometime.Though I have heard a lot of answers I don't see them as the proper ones.But here I was having someone in front of me who was more unhappy than someone who would have been married for more than 15 years.

Just out of curiousity & somewhat out of my callings to help him, I asked "Tell me what is it that is bothering you so much???" You are quite good at your job,you have been promoted so early,uncle & aunty both are happy with you,as they were telling the other day when I called them,Why you look so unhappy???"

He just wanted to avoid my question,but I kept on pestering .He gave up to my tenacity & bluntly came the reply,"I feel so and so is doing well,is earning much more than what I earn,got a chance to go abroad,etc. etc.",which were according to me not his own problems,but the prosperity of the other person who he was talking about, was the cause of his unhappiness.

Could not understand what I would say to him.Even I was not convinced about my honesty in this matter also. I also loose sleep sometimes over other people's prosperity.So kept myself mum & finished my lunch.Time was for me to come to my place leaving him at his building.

Being a sunny day the sun was shining above me with all force & since I had a summer cut ,the sun rays were piercing like neddles into my head.But that did not stop me from thinking why do we always attach our happiness to the other person's achievements and failures??? Can't we think of happiness as an absolute feeling rather than treating it as a comarative one.Why do we dream of other people's dreams?Can't we treat our dreams as the sole motivator for us to achieve something big.Read somewhere that "If you think about other people's dreams where is the time for your own dream??".Thinking about other people may make us success for a short time,because that envy will propel us to achieve something higher,but then there will be always someone else with whose achievements we will attach our happiness.

Life does not give us chance to live twice.If one second is lost it is gone forever.I don't believe in people who say time is multidimensional.For time being let us be very practical & accept the fact that time is unidimensional.It always moves forward.So why not to make every second a second for ourselves.Why can't we live it for our own????

So many thoughts & so less time to find answers....."Hey Bibhu whats up man??? How is your job going buddy???Did you see your manager abt your colleague who joined with you getting higher salary than you????",one of my close colleagues was asking.I just looked at him & thought to myself, aren't we all still imprisoned in that paradigm where everything is measured comparatively,every other day someone falls ill due to the only reason that someone he or she knows is having a good health.Life moves on ,so the society also. Who am I to question??? Let us all compare ourselves to each other & feel happy even if we are not.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Live Your Dreams

"You know what???? I am not able to dream nowdays as I used to . I am scared whether the dreams I will see might be getting fullfilled or not??? I am really not in my elements nowdays."The voice came crackling over my mobile on a moonlit night when I was in deep conversation with her regarding her life's plans.

Suddenly the bitings of mosquitoes felt less painful than the pain I could find in that voice.I Was wondering why she was talikng like that??? She was such an educated girl, having a nice job & I felt everything was going right for her. And anyone who would be in her position would dream big things about the life.But here I am talking to someone who is scared to dream also,let alone dreaming big.

Out of sock & annoyance I didn't talk much,but told her something which I don't know how it came to my mind."You know dream is the language with which you talk to god and if you are scared to dream then you are scared of talking to god.Dream is the only way of communicating with the almighty.That is the only way god can reach you.Never ever be scared of talking to god". I feel excited when I talk about success & dreams of people.Though I can't be said as a dreamer I can't be said as very practical either.But I give more weightage to heart than mind.Anyway our conversation stopped there & we told good night to each other.

Came to bed & was wondering about what I said to her."C'mon you have become a counselor of sort",I told to myself."But don't you feel it is very theatrical to talk about dreams,heart over mind nowdays????Those have become stale, man.Talk something intresting dude if you want people to talk to you."

But to the core of my heart I feel dreams are a precious gift that has been bestowed upon human beings, who have the capability to make them come true.Can't say the same things about other animals though.The other day I overheard a discussion wherein one of the guest were saying "LIFE IS ALL ABOUT LUCK AND PLUCK,IF YOU CAN'T PLUCK, YOU CAN'T GET LUCK".What a beutiful way of telling the subtlety of being a successful person.Getting success is not about sitting idle at a single place & thinking that success will walk all it's path & reach you.It is all about getting up,walking the difficult terrain & converting evry oppertunity that comes on the way.And to get up & get going you need dreams to propel you.

So be a dreamer, beacuse it costs nothing to dream, but return may be more than what you might have expected for. Our dreams determine us as much as we determine our dreams.

P:S:-Dedicated to that someone who is the inspiration for this Posting.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Searching For A Title

"Hmmmmm.... So????? What you are writing nowdays author???? I saw your blog & it looks pretty good though the writing looks unconventional." My friend asked me when we met over a tea today.Even though his words had some satirical inclination I secretly devoured my blog's visibility.Now days he is so pissed off with my boastings about my writing that even if it is not upto standard,he finds it very intresting.Arey marketing bol ke koi baat hai na & since I have some inclination towards that discipline of management I don't loose a single chance of marketing what else ;) ,the most unmarketable trait of mine which I dare to say is freelancing.Anyway I am grateful to some of my friends who find it of great taste but from my side I am not sure.

Anyway coming back to the original topic,I was wondering what I should tell.To avoid any embarrassment I asked him "Hey what is it that you find tasteful in my blog???" And predicatbly he told "what else,the title you give to your postings."I was wondering if he ever proceeded further from that one line heading of my post.Anyway at least he looks at them,I consoled my already bruised pride."helloooooo, You didn't tell me what is it that you are writing now?????" he just nudged me."Errrrrrr,I am writng something which I also don't know" I said to further avoid any embarrasment & have a good coffee.

"Arey what is this???? you must not give up hope yaar.You know every big thing has a small beginning & I know u are bound to become a great writer". " Ohhh god, as if my cup of woes were not enough this chap is encouraging me to be a good writer.Even this profession does not pay me much, & I will become an author , to hell with this chap". Just forced a wry smile on my face. Anyway to be very frank I was thinking what I will write today??? what will be the heading for my post??? Being a guy who is poor in innovative thinking( As one of my close colleagues say) I was wondering what I will tell him.

Should I tell him that I am writing something about the state of the affairs of the company where we both are working??? Should I tell him I am writing something about my experince in night club,though I have never visited any one yet????? What should be the topic??? I was kind of wondering if I have thought of something which I am not capable of. Errr I have got a topic. Let me write something about that girl in blue jeans & red tee-shirt.Let me think about an imaginary meeting with her & put my experience.Hmmm can I write ???? Yup why can't I?? I can very well put everything that goes inside me when I meet her into words & publish it.Let me see, she is not bad to look at also.That would make a good posting man.Something said to me from my inside.But being a shy guy I can never imagine to be with a girl like that. So leave that proposition,the other part of my mind advised to me :).C'mon you are running out of ideas as well as time,Say something to your friend yaar,my heart was screaming.

"Hmmmmm,hellooooo I have got the topic to write now " :). I said to myself in a joy that only a child can feel whenever it gets an object of desire which looked so difficult to get."I will write about my experience about my search for the better half which is now at the top of my mind.Thats it." Suddenly as if it was just sitting beside me to jump anytime, given a chance ,the other half my mind said, "What???? You are going to write about something which you have not done yet.Tell me how far have you gone in this to give you an authority to write about it".
"To hell with this.Isn't that a blessing in disguise for the people who get a better half without searching??This stupid is just poking it's dirty nose.Huuuuuh. I am going to write on this & thats it". I forced myself to confront the opposition.

But isn't it true what my opposing part of mind saying to me???I thought myself. I have not gone that far where I can put my experience into an enjoyable post.What is it that I will write????"Left that in the same hurriedness as I thought about that topic.

Out of frustration I was wondering about the fancy titles like "Live Your Heart Out","Loving & Living","Company That You Keep Defines The Person You Are","Let Your Dream Drives Your Passion" etc. etc..But that will be more than a posting boss.It will be like a boaring class where the boaring professor says soemthing which the pupil are not able to make anything out.

"Hello.Should we go??? I have already finished two cups of coffee including yours.Let me know when you write your next posting.No need to think so much about it.Kitna sochta hai re???Coffe pine ke liye aya tha ya yahan pe baith ke sochne. Anyway tell me kya hua teri salary hike ke bare mein. Kuchh baat ki managr se.Kar le yaar 4 saal hone ko hai & still you get less than a fresher in some companies.. Etc etc." My friend's words were whizzing beside me like a spray of bullets fired from an AK47 ,but I was drifting to my own world of hunting for a title for my next posting.

P:S:-Dedicated to Debula Bhai

Monday, April 17, 2006

Something Out Of Nothing

Did the heading of my blog sound a cliche or it sounded something unconvevtional.Whatever it may be. Today I have thought of writing something which is contradictory to the general norm & views expressed by society & tell me if you find this to be unacceptable .But to be very frank I can't help it as this is an idea whose time has come & I think no one can stop it from being put into suitable words.

Don't know when this idea suddenly fell upon me out of blues "That nothing can be more powerful than nothing itself".It is like saying adding 1 to infinity.I guess I was quite influenced by the following incident which happened in my college.

It was an interview which was conducted for an MNC in campus & being a software company there was no limitation for the non comp science grads to apply for the job.Please be informed that even if our college is one of the top notch colleges in the country we didn't have that much exposure to the software world & it's intricacies. So a general question was thrownin interview to all & sundry who came from different branches other than comp. science, "WHY SHOULD WE RECRUIT YOU??".Since it was a very subjective question with no definite answer(Though people mugged up the answer & made the answer look like an objective one),it elicited very intresting answer from guys & girls alike.So here was a guy who out of smartness or whatever you may feel like when confronted with this question gave the following answer.
He took a plain paper & a written paper with a loads of formulae written over it.Then told the interviewer "Sir,see the plain paper. It is totally blank. You can write anything you want to write on it.But what about the paper with all these written materials.Can you write on it.Whatever is there it is already there.So we people from non comp science are like blank paper.Whatever you are going to train us will be imprinted in our mind.But it will be very difficult for the comp science grads to absorb as fast as we do."

No doubt that guy got selected.I happened to be the witness to that incident & after that I forgot about that as the time passed by.

But it cropped up again recently while chatting with a friend & I thought "is something more important or nothing"????.No I am not talking about materialistic pleasures.Forget that.We have a lot of other things to worry about other than materialistic pleasure(People who are overtly materialistic in their approach can execuse me ).In every other field don't we find how nothing is far far important than something.Start from nothing & you are bound to get more than something.See the canvass being more wider when you talk about nothing.No constraints at all for your imagination.Your imagination moves mike an well oiled wheel.You feel like a free bird.Innovation is at it's best when you start from nothing.I remeber reading soemwhere "The things which you see are temporal & the things which you don't see are eternal".Extend that to something & nothing.Something is tangible,you can feel it & you can touch it,you can see it.But nothing is intangible & you can't feel it & you can't touch it either.So which is eternal.Nothing or soemthing???
So time has come to give due recognition to nothing & let the old saying be replaced with "Nothing is better than something"

P:S:-Dedicated to all those who were the inspirations behind this writing

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Is there such an omnipotent force we call GOD

Being a Saturday was lazying around on my bed at 7 O clock in the evening when phone buzzed. I wonder if we had really taken away the privacy of people by giving them the newest technologies.Mgr's voice on the other side really woke me up from my thoughts. Took some time to get into normal mode though it was very short & I doubt whether my mgr on the other side would have known it.It was a small request from her side to come on Sunday (which is today) to office & initiate some patches for a bank which is having some critical issues.I guess people who are in Microsoft will be better knowing what that means ;) No pun intended.By the way it means the user of the application asks for a fix to the devoloper when the application does not work properly.

Got up early in the morning & took the public bus to office.A loads of thoughts were clouding my head & I was praying god not to have a bad time in the office.Suddenly out of blues I was wondering is there something called a heaven which is an organisation where we have someone called creator who writes programs which are called human beings.But what about the programs which go haywire & something has to be done for that. Say I am a program & I am not able to function properly due to the external negative forces like stress,workload,not having a good time etc. etc..What happens during that. Do we have something called a patch mechanism wherein we can ask the creator to send a patch for us which once applied will be helpful for us to function properly.Won't it be much better if we have such a mechanism??? Imagine what the world would be when we all behave as we are made to be.Everywhere peace will be prevailing. Everyone will be happy & prosperous working to their full potential.

If such a mechanism is not there then how do we find a lot of people amidst this world full of sorrows are so cheerful & happy.So this can't be ruled out that there is not a mechanism like the one which I have mentioned earlier.So what that meachanism would be.Then as if to answer my question an inner voice told me,be a bit cautious when you look around & you will be amazed to see that there exists a link between god & you where you both are communicating with each other every second.Whenever you request for a patch, it suddenly arrives.But the only thing we don't understand is the way to communicate our problem to him in a proper way.Today we will be thinking of some problems ,tomorrow we will have some other problems.If we don't communicate how does the almighty know what you want & to communicate that you need a clear heart devoid of all ill feelings.Then only that message will be transmitted properly & you will be amazed to know how fast the help arrives.

So cheer up,stay alive every moment & don't have any ill feelings. Then you can have a life without any problem as there will be a hand everytime to give solutions anytime and everytime you have any problems.

GOD BLESS